it's OK to be single.

I hate explaining why I’m single. Please, riddle me this, why are you in a relationship? Does the answer “because I have support, someone to come home to, get lots of presents” sound that much better than “because I like freedom, being able to do whatever I want, go on lots of dates”?

When people ask me why I’m single, I usually let my ego answer. People always give you the schpeel, “but you’re so pretty! smart! funny! talented!” insert a million other adjectives. And yeah. I am fucking sexy, smart, good at what I do, really good at what I do on the side, fun, and well-raised. But if I am all-kinds-of-awesome, shouldn’t it technically mean that it would be harder to find someone just as awesome?

I hate when people say, “but he’s so nice!” Why do I have to settle for nice and smart when they get to enjoy the whole package? Why as a woman am I told that I MUST be everything, but settle for less?

Let’s pretend for a second that I am a university. I am a Tier 1 University. I have a beautiful campus, great academics, excellent athletics, a whole plethora of interesting activities, a great night life, affordable housing, etc. I am a kick-fucking-ass University. Tons of people apply to get in me. If I read through the first 30 applications and was like, “hmm, you’ve got OK grades… I see you’re not that great of an athlete. Aw, but look, you volunteer sometimes with kids. I guess you’re OK, sure, you’re in.”

No. Fuck. That. I am a kick-fucking-ass University and there are thousands of applications. Just because Mediocre applied, doesn’t mean he gets in. I am a great University, and I will accept only the best. That’s why I’m single, bitch.